Defining Success Part-2

…I was at a fork in the road and I choose track...

So fall 2007, I made track my life, because that’s what you do if you want to be an Olympic gold medalist. There’s no way you can achieve a goal like that giving less than 100%, right? While that’s true, you can’t get what you want giving partial effort; however, giving full effort doesn’t guarantee the goal either. I learned this in 2008 after I lost my NCAA title and fell in the Olympic trials. Unfortunately, I was too immature to learn the lesson in that loss. I literally swept that devastating season under the rug and moved forward because the following season was my senior year; the last chance I’d have to get a contract.

Although I won the NCAA title my senior year, it was by far my worst year in college. I won every hurdle race that year, but I never looked sharp. More importantly I didn’t make the 2009 World Championship team. Thus, I was forced to wait until the following year to sign a two-year contract with Nike.

…I was at a fork in the road and I choose track...This was the first time I felt I failed in life. But why? My goal was to beat people and win the Olympics, how much money I made shouldn't have deemed me a failure...but it did.

My reaction was to just keep pushing. I had no clue why things weren’t going according to plan and yet I never really searched for answers. I just kept racing hoping for better performances. As we often do in the midst of struggles, we just keep grinding and hoping a breakthrough will happen. Sometimes the struggle is to force you to sit down and learn a thing or two, not to just get tougher physically, but to grow mentally and intellectually. I completely missed this lesson in the 2010 and 2011 seasons.

I began my professional career in 2010, still holding on to the “track is my life” motto, but it was slightly altered. I was no longer running to pay for law school, but I was simply running to make money. Over time I grew more comfortable with just being a professional athlete. I became so content with being able to tell people that I was a professional athlete sponsored by NIKE that I lost sight of the real goal, the Olympic gold medal. I allowed others’ mediocre interpretations to affect my mindset. The moment I bought into this, my success began to diminish and I drifted far away from being an Olympic contender, let alone a potential medalist.

Money started to control why I ran track. I was focused on certain incentives in my contract and doing what I needed to do so that I did not get cut. I went from the athlete who would skip championship caliber races to stay rested to the athlete who would travel across the globe a week out from a championship just to get in three more meets worth of prize money. I lost two out of fifteen races while in college, but in one season as a professional, I lost every race. In addition, I was no longer making the finals at USA Champs.

After two seasons, this became stressful, disappointing and embarrassing. I lost confidence in myself as a runner, but more importantly I lost the will to fight my way back to successful ways. So like the intelligent person I am, I put plan B into motion.

Fall 2011 I started applying to law schools. It was an Olympic year so I kept training. February 2012, four months out from Olympic trials, I accepted an invitation to attend Temple Law. I told myself I was still going to shoot for London, and if I made the team I’d defer law school for a year. If you saw my performance at the 2012 trials you’d know that was a lie. Although I looked great at practice and progressed tremendously the last few races before trials, I had very little fight left in me. The three seasons prior had taken all my motivation. Not even money could’ve gotten me on the 2012 Olympic team.

So I QUIT! Yup I said it, I flat out quit and was done with track. I’d run every summer from 1994-2012. I was over track and field. I told people I needed a break, which was true, but a large part of me was convinced that I should count my losses and be done.

…I was at a fork in the road and I law school...